TW Tay Kris

The Diary of a Preeety Preeety Punk Rock Princess

I can dance a waltz that'll make you dizzy

(no subject)
TW Tay Kris
sundariharmony

I really want to audition for a movie. I thought about making an audition tape and sending it off to wherever, but even the thought of recording myself while I'm home alone is kind of terrifying and awkward. If I can't record myself while I'm alone and no one knows I'm doing it, how would I become an actress?

I've always loved performing. I was in plays in middle school, but was never the lead. The one thing I remember to this day that solidified my love was my 10th grade enriched English class. We read "our town" and as part of the unit, we had to break up into groups and act it out. I somehow ended up with the first scene, which if you remember is a very long intro setting up the play. I just remember when I was finished, a boy in my class was like "holy cow, that was incredible" and my class was very receptive.

The problem is I've been too chicken shit to audition for anything locally. I don't have the energy, and even when "Rent" and "Les Mis" rolled around and I promised myself I'd audition, I never did.

I wish I could figure out what is holding me back. Probably the fear of failure and utter humiliation lol. *sigh*

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Babiiiieeess
TW Tay Kris
sundariharmony

So, this entry will be random, partially cuz it's late and partially cuz I've been on pain killers all week.

So, lately I've been entertaining the idea of having a baby. A lot of our friends and family are having babies, and it'd be fun to have kids the same age. The problem is that as I'm thinking about it, can I justify bringing another person into this world, when there are already so many kids who need love? I started comparing it in my head to dogs, and even though it's a crude comparison, it kind of makes sense to me. If we promote spaying and neutering and adopting animals because there are so many homeless animals, why don't we promote that more with people? Not necessarily snipping off certain abilities, but the idea of adoption.

I've had people tell me that I need to have at least one of my own. Experience child birth at least once. Why? Why is it so necessary? To me, the thought of having something growing inside of me that will make me miserable for 9 months kind of freaks me out. I really don't know if I could handle it.

Something that really pushed my mommy button was this little girl at church. This family took in this little boy and girl after their mom dumped them at their house and refuses to take them back, and yet she refuses to give up parental rights. The family that took them has 6 kids of their own so it's not exactly ideal. Anyway , this little girl is a blonde-haired blue-eyed little cutie that kind of looks like me when I was a kid. I was holding her before church one morning and she ended up falling asleep on my chest. It just melted my heart and I had a hard time giving her up. Now if I'm dragging my feet to go to church, I remember that I'll see her and suddenly I'm excited to go.

It just saddens me so much that her parents don't want her. They are complete messes and drug addicts, so it's beyond me how they managed to have 4 kids (the 2 older ones are still with the mom). It just blows my mind. So then that really made me think of just how many kids are out there with dead beat parents who really need someone to love them. Why can't I love them?

People will make the argument that they aren't mine. Why can't they be? My dogs aren't related to me, but damn if they aren't mine. There doesn't need to be a blood relation to have the ability to love someone endlessly. You just need to have strong will, the room in your heart and the grace from God. If you have love to give, why not give it instead of trying to create it.

I'm confused. Maybe I'm just emotional about the little girl. Maybe we can consider adopting and having biological (if I can ever mentally handle that). I don't know. Blasahhh.

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(no subject)
TW Tay Kris
sundariharmony

Hi everyone! I'm alive! I'm coming to see if people on L J are still alive, and if you are to seek advice.

I know I need to see my dr. My depression is getting worse and I feel hopeless. I've been WebMDing my other symptoms (dumb I know) and I think I could have fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue syndrome. Lupus runs in my family, but I don't think I have that. Signs are really pointing to fibromyalgia.

Does anyone have any history with this? I just want to feel better. I can't even say I want to feel normal because I don't know what that means. *sigh*

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(no subject)
TW Tay Kris
sundariharmony

Is everyone really that much happier than me? Or are they just better at pretending?

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

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Win!
TW Tay Kris
sundariharmony

So today at work, I sat my boss down to talk about everything he expects of me. I am going to another city for the month of June to set up a store. I have been doing a lot lately and I deserved a raise. I asked him and tada! Raise! We are going to see how well I do setting this store up, then we will talk again and if I do well, I will be made manager of the store I set up this spring and most likely get another raise. Win!

Of course I will be gone most of June, then come back and get married July 9th! Ahhhhh!

That's a snippet of my life now. All in all, it's going pretty darn good :) now I just have to get done with school, rawr.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.


Random question....
CB Gasp
sundariharmony
Which celebrities would you leave your significant other over?

(no subject)
TW Save You
sundariharmony
Anyone live in California and want to take in a roommate? :)

Yes, I am thinking about Cali again *sigh* I just want to do so much more with my life, and if I stay here I will end up doing nothing with my life. I have no idea how I would actually get out there and live and go to school, but god I want to.

By the way, I got a twitter if you want to add me
http://twitter.com/sundariharmony
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(no subject)
GG I miss you
sundariharmony
I can not believe Brittany Murphy is dead. 32 years old. Wow. This year needs to be over NOW.

(no subject)
TW Tay Kris
sundariharmony
A spot in Greek opened up. I'm contemplating dropping sign language and taking it. It would require a full schedule change, but I would only have to take 2 semesters of Greek rather than 3 of sign language.

Hmm.

(no subject)
HP It was Hermione
sundariharmony
I just got back from seeing Harry Potter, finally! I was so sad I couldn't see Bethy the night of the premiere. I was sad I didn't go at all. I gave Andrea my ticket cuz I felt crappy.

Omg, I could not stop laughing through the High!Harry scene. "Siir!" hahahah.

Ok, Dobby is grabbing my face to pull me in so he can kiss me. It would be cute, but he uses his claws. Umm, ow?! Stupid cat.

Anyway, this was a good movie, but it still sickened me. I will always be a die hard Harry/Hermione fan. I mean, come on! How cute was Harry comforting Hermione and then the two of them at the end.. SERIOUSLY JKR! IT WROTE ITSELF! FOOL!

Rawr lol. Ok, sleepy time.

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